It has or will happen to us all at least once (and most, more than once, if we are so lucky) in our lives, and it’s a pain that can’t be replicated— further, that no one would ever wish to replicate.
To hear that it will be okay is the biggest insult of all, and I am not here to tell you that. You are not ignorant. You know that you will be okay. Your heart is young and healthy, and you will not die from having it broken. In fact, you know that in a few months, you will be back, up and running, a few scars to prove the battle, but otherwise unscathed. You will emerge wiser and stronger, and you will hold this memory in the back of your mind; if you see a situation that could cause you to repeat this sequence of events that led to you having to collect the pieces of your broken heart, you will avoid it at all costs. You will have learned your lesson. You will see it as just that— a lesson.
But right now, you are feeling every inch of this heartbreak. It is a physical pain as much as an emotional one. You feel that someone has reached their hands into your stomach and twisted your insides. Your heart— it’s numb… Is it even there anymore? You feel it missing: an empty hole, and the hollowness hurts despite the numbness. Your head is pounding, and it doesn’t make sense. Not too long ago, you were healthy. Now, you are physically ill, and it’s all because of a heartbreak. And yes, you are dramatic. But… they would cry too if it happened to them.
You won’t want to hear what your friends have to say, and you certainly don’t want to hear from your mother at a time like this. You want to wallow in your sadness because you know that it will not last forever. You deserve this time— the time to grieve the memory of a man who you thought might be yours forever. He will wake in the morning, but he will be dead to you.
You do not want to hear what I have to say, but, in all my stubbornness, I will say it anyway. I will skip the consoling; again, it’s insulting. You don’t need to be consoled; more importantly, you don’t wish to be consoled.
I will say this:
You should wake up in the morning and go for a run because you love fitness. You should not wake up in the morning and go for a run to prove to a man that you love fitness.
You should eat healthy to be healthy. You should not eat healthy to prove to a man that you are healthy.
You should study because you are ambitious. You should not study to prove to a man that you are ambitious.
You should better yourself to be better for yourself. You should not better yourself to be better for a man.
You catch my drift?
Now, let that sink in, and run with it. You will know that you are ready to be loved when you don’t have to show someone why you are worthy of being loved. When you are who you want to see yourself as and who you want the world to see you as… that’s when you’re ready.
Go on, and be that girl.