hey.
it goes like— it hurts. you can’t hear me through the gasping breaths, and so you ask “what?” “it hurts.” but i can’t hear me through my beating heart. and i start to believe that it wouldn’t be so bad if it didn’t beat anymore. my mother tells me that happiness is […]
It has or will happen to us all at least once (and most, more than once, if we are so lucky) in our lives, and it’s a pain that can’t be replicated— further, that no one would ever wish to replicate. To hear that it will be okay is the biggest insult of all, and […]
In a little, sterile, white-walled hospital room. I could feel the needle inside of my vein Keeping me hydrated, alive. The drowsiness of the overdose Clouded my ability to make sense of the question. And so, I wondered if she meant the IV in my arm. “It hurts like a bitch,” I reported, exhausted, […]
*A poem of frustration written shortly after the shooting at Borderline Bar & Grill in Thousand Oaks, CA, a place that I’d frequented and loved. Where were you that day— The day of the shooting? Did you have the week off for vacation? And how can the creator of the world take vacations? Why didn’t […]
There’s something lonely about being a writer. There’s beauty in the loneliness just as there’s a bit of beauty to most everything in life. The solitude of a writer is chosen by the individual. We make the choice to either be the extrovert, spending our moments in live conversation with others in the world, […]
There she sat beside me in class Twitching. The professor spoke But all I could hear was the sound of her Twitching. A moment of stillness and then the motion of her Twitch. A sudden movement Interrupted by calmness, Immobility. I began to count the seconds between each Twitch. One. Two. Three. Four. Twitch. Others […]
At unspeakable hours is when they like to come— Never in the daylight for fear of being discovered By those who are not allowed to know. They chose me, and it’s a curse and a blessing. The first night they arrived, it was ordinary and bright. The moon shone a yellowish hue through my […]
You’re going to feel stupid one day … But it’s okay, I’ve been there Many of us have been there, and your need to control and fix a broken situation is not defined by idiocy. In fact, you’re a smart girl. You’ve read the situation like a children’s book. I know this because you’re wise […]
As we enter 2020, a new decade, it only makes sense to me to give thanks for the years passed. How does one give thanks for an entire decade? To begin: gratitude for ten years of health and happiness. I was thirteen when I entered the 2010’s. I couldn’t have imagined that life would take […]
“I know pain. I know what pain feels like.” My mother looked at me, uncertain. Startled by my words. The psychiatrist looked around the room, nervous, Wiping sweat from his brow And letting his shirt soak up the dampness from his palms. “I know how it feels to dive deep into yourself, To go […]
