I can’t decide.
And they say it’s normal for 23.
Sometimes, I think I’d like to spend my days in court, bringing social justice to a corrupt world. Making a difference, though, I admit, there are several ways to make a difference that don’t involve 3 years of debt and torturous schooling.
Sometimes, I think I’d like to spend my days in a gym reaching my potential while helping others to reach theirs. But when I’m 35, will I still have this desire to spend my days in constant movement?
Sometimes, I think I’d like to spend my days writing… Okay, well every day I think I’d like to spend my days writing, but no matter how fast my fingers glide across this keyboard, I can’t seem to turn these words into rent-money. Tragic!
This week, I wrote in my planner: “figure out career stuff.” Not entirely sure how to go about doing this, I figured I’d start by writing about it. Maybe next I’ll light a candle, meditate, say some prayers.
I’ve found that perhaps the hardest challenge in life is figuring out who I really want to be. “Brand yourself.” That’s the new thing, but I feel as if I’d be taking so much from myself if I were to identify within the narrow constructs of society’s expectations.
So today, I’m a writer, and tomorrow, maybe I’ll want to niche down and be a poet. By Friday, I’ll want to be a lawyer, and by Saturday, I’ll want to spend the entire day clearing my head in the gym… And, I feel like that’s okay.
I think at 23, maybe I should be free to just be without yet defining it to an expecting world. I think maybe it’s okay to wake up and ask myself “Who would you like to be today?”